Best Jokes

Tim: I went riding this morning.

Tom: Horseback?

Tim: Oh, sure. He got back two hours before I did.”

Stephen King has a brother named Joe...

I’m not joking, but he is.

A speaker had a business engagement in a small town a few hours away. The train on which he was traveling was far from fast, and he took every opportunity to keep the conductor informed as to his opinion of the pace.

Finally, frustrated, the conductor blurted out, “If you don’t like it, get out and walk!”

“I would,” the man replied, “but the committee doesn’t expect me until this train gets in.”

On a boat...

Captain (boasting): This boat makes twenty knots an hour!

Passenger: How long does it take the crew to untie them?