Best Jokes

When tempted to fight fire with fire...

... always remember that the fire department usually uses water.

I ordered an extension course, “How to Deal With Life’s Disappointments”.

Yesterday, I got the first lesson in the mail.

It was an empty envelope.

I was on a date with this really great lady.

Well it wasn't really a date-date, more like we ate dinner and saw a movie together.

Then the plane landed.

My lawnmower seized up so I took it to the dump and was told it would cost fifty bucks to recycle it. I didn't have the fifty so I brought it back home.

Later that night I got a bright idea so I put the lawnmower in the front yard by the road thinking someone might steal it.

Low and behold the next morning the mower was gone, my plan had worked. Couldn't help but brag to my wife about my brilliant idea.

My gloating only lasted one day. The next morning the mower had been returned minus the carburetor and the wheels.