Best Jokes

A sailor was swallowed by a whale and lived to tell the tale.

When asked by a reporter what the scariest part was he answered, "The graffiti... someone wrote 'Pinocchio was here.'"

Anthony, my four-year-old grandson, was excited about the story he had learned at Christian day school.

"Grandma," he said enthusiastically, "it's about a woman God told not to look back."

"You mean Lot's wife?" I asked.

"Yes," Anthony's face brightened. "And you know what? She looked back and turned into the Statue of Liberty!"

Granddaughter: Grandpa, I thought you were going to buy concert tickets for my birthday.

Grandpa: I asked if you'd mind if I bought the tickets and you said yes so I didn't buy the tickets.

Granddaughter: These days Grandpa, yes means yes.

Grandpa: I thought you would mind if I bought the tickets when you said yes.

Granddaughter: You're not going to go into that "Whose on first routine" again are you?