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Favorite this joke A group of extraterrestrials were sent to earth to monitor and/or stop the use of nuclear weapons. The first creature they made contact with was a chimpanzee. Mistakenly they mistook the chimp as being the dominant species of planet earth.
After scanning the chimp one of them looked at the others and said, “This must be a mistake, perhaps we’re on the wrong planet.”
One of the other Aliens said, “You may be right. It’s obvious these beings are far too intelligent to use nuclear power in a destructive way."
A telephone rang. "Hello! Is your phone number 444-4444?"
"Yes, it is," came the reply.
"Thank God! Could you call 911 for me? I super-glued my finger to the phone."
A guy goes to a fish exhibit and sees the owner take out his wallet and place it on the nose of a carp in a fairly large pool.
The carp swims to the other end, transfers the wallet to another fish, and it swims back and gives the wallet back to the owner.
I was amazed as it was the first time I'd seen Carp-to-Carp Walleting!
Husband throwing darts at his wife's photo and not even a single throw hitting the target.
From another room the wife calls, "Honey, what are you doing?"
Husband: "MISSING YOU..."
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