Husband: Amazon has everything under the sun.
Wife: Can you order a couple of grandchildren for me. Our two boys will never get married; they're too busy chasing girls and they're not getting any younger.
Husband: There may be a way?
Wife: (Rolls her eyes)
Two days later a package comes in the mail.
Wife: A package just arrived and it has two DNA test kits in it. What good are DNA kits to a mother who wants to become a grandmother?
Husband: You might be surprised!
My wife, and other ladies in our parish, count church donations every Monday.
This week she came home early.
When I asked, "Why are you so early?"
She replied, "Everyone showed up this week, so we didn’t have anyone to talk about."
What's a pirate's favorite letter of the alphabet?
'C' is his first love but 'X' marks the spot!
Josh was helping Sally, clean out the trunk of her car. Inside, he noticed a bag labeled "Emergency Repair Kit". Looking at it a little closer, he noticed a stick of dynamite inside.
Thinking that was a bit strange, he asked Sally what it was for.
She said, "It's part of my emergency repair kit."
Josh said, "I can see that, but why?"
Sally replied, "In case I have a flat and need to blow up one of my tires."