Best Jokes

Steven Spielberg was busy discussing his new action adventure about famous classical composers. Bruce Willis, Sylvester Stallone, and Arnold Schwarzenegger were in the room.

"Who do you want to play?" Spielberg asked Bruce Willis.

"I've always been a big fan of Chopin," said Bruce. "I'll play him."

"And you, Sylvester?" asked Spielberg.

"Mozart's the one for me!" said Sly.

"And what about you?" Spielberg asked Schwarzenegger.

He replied, "I'll be Bach!"

When Jesus went to the bathroom for the first time as a baby, that was the first time someone said the phrase: “Holy Crap!”

Teacher: What's the capital of France?

Little Johnny: That would be the 'F'!

Why does it get hot after a baseball game?

Because all the fans leave.