A horse walks into a bar. The bartender says, “Hey.”
The horse says, “You read my mind, buddy.”
Two hunters got a pilot to fly them into the far north for elk hunting. They were quite successful in their venture and bagged six big bucks.
The pilot came back, as arranged, to pick them up. They started loading their gear into the plane, including the six elk. But the pilot objected and he said, "The plane can only take four of your elk, you will have to leave two behind."
They argued with him. The year before they had shot six and the pilot had allowed them to put all aboard. The plane was the same model and capacity. Reluctantly, the pilot finally permitted them to put all six aboard. But when they attempted to take off and leave the valley, the little plane could not make it and they crashed into the wilderness.
Climbing out of the wreckage, one hunter said to the other, "Do you know where we are?"
"I think so," replied the other hunter. "I think this is about the same place where we landed last year!"
That time of year when many people are more interested in the present than the past.
My wife opened her first checking account and went out purchasing things for the house.
After a couple weeks the bank called her and told her she was out of funds.
In total shock, my wife exclaimed, "How can I be out of money when I've got all these checks left?"