Best Jokes

If #2 pencils are the best, why aren't they called #1 pencils?

A kindergartner was practicing spelling with magnetic letters on the refrigerator: cat, dog, dad, and mom have been proudly displayed for all to see. One morning while getting ready for the day, he bounded into the room with his arms outstretched. In his hands were three magnetic letters: G-O-D. "Look what I spelled, Mom!" with a proud smile on his face.

"That's wonderful!" his mom praised him. "Now go put them on the fridge so Dad can see when he gets home tonight," she said, happy that Sunday school education was having an impact. Just then, a little voice called from the kitchen. "Mom, how do you spell zilla?"

I wrote a romance novel. It's called, "She Fell In Love With A Painter, But He Gave Her The Brush."

I romantically looked at my girlfriend and said to her, "Love is in the air."

Apparently, she didn't agree. "No, that's pollen."