Saleswoman: "When this baby doll is put to bed, it goes to sleep just like a real baby."
Mrs. Williams: "Whoever made it didn't know much about real babies."
Joe: "Say Moe, do you know how I could hit this nail without hitting my fingers?"
Moe: "Hmm, maybe you could hold the hammer in both hands."
Diner: "Waitress, I don't like all these flies buzzing around my plate."
Waitress: "Don't worry, sir, just show me the ones you don't like and I'll get rid of them."
I took the train to NYC today and the conductor paid me the nicest compliment as I was boarding...
They said, “First class rear..."