My husband and I both work, so our family eats out a lot.
Recently, when we were having a rare home-cooked meal, I handed a glass to my three-year-old and told her to drink her milk.
She looked at me bewildered and replied, "But I didn’t order milk."
If we are not to have a midnight snack, then why is there a light bulb in the refrigerator?
A man is madly in love with a princess and wants to propose, but an evil witch has cast a spell on him and now he can say only one word a year. So he waits 14 agonizing years—accumulating all his words—before approaching his beloved.
Finally, the big day arrives. When he sees her, his heart skips a beat. He gathers his nerve, drops to his knees, and intones, “My darling, I have waited many years to say this... Will you marry me?”
The princess turns around, smiles, and says, “Pardon?”
We were at a red light when a car pulled up, its music blasting.
“He’ll be deaf before he’s 25,” I said.
“That won’t help us,” my wife replied. “He’ll only turn it up.”