Why did the doctor carry out blood tests on the secretarial candidates?
So that he could eliminate type-O's.
Two cats are having a swimming race. One is called “One Two Three”, the other “Un Deux Trois”.
Which cat won?
“One Two Three” because “Un Deux Trois” cat sank.
In San Diego to work with military linguists, my colleague and I checked into a hotel and ordered a 5 a.m. wake-up call. The next morning, the phone didn’t ring until 5:30.
“You were supposed to call us at 5 a.m.!” I admonished the desk clerk on the other end of the line. “What if I had to close a million-dollar contract this morning? Your oversight would have cost me the deal!”
“Sir,” he said calmly, “if you had to close that type of deal, I doubt you’d be staying in this type of hotel.”
"You seem to have more than the average share of intelligence for a man of your background," sneered the lawyer at a witness on the stand.
"If I wasn't under oath, I'd return the compliment," replied the witness.