Best Jokes

A motorist was on trial for striking a pedestrian. The motorist's lawyer made this point, "Your honor, my client has been driving for over thirty years."

To which the lawyer for the plaintiff retorted, "Your honor, if we are going to judge this case by experience, may I remind you that my client has been walking for over 55 years!"

Last night, someone actually jumped the fence of the Presidential Palace.

The Security team eventually caught the person.

The tackling officer said, “I'm sorry, but you have to stay here for all four years, Mr. President.”

Why didn't the quarter roll down the hill with the nickel?

It had more cents.

After a worship service, a mother with a fidgety seven-year-old boy told me how she finally got her son to sit still and be quiet.

About halfway through the sermon, she leaned over and whispered, "If you don't be quiet, the Pastor is going to lose his place and will have to start his sermon all over again."

It worked.