Wife: "I feel like you are always pushing me around and talking behind my back."
Husband: "Well, honey, you are in a wheelchair...."
I never made a mistake in my life!
I thought I did once, but I was wrong.
Watching her mother as she tried on her new fur coat, young Becky said unhappily, “Mom, do you realize some poor, dumb beast suffered so you could have that?”
The women shot her an angry look. “Becky, how dare you talk about your father like that!”
We use a really strong sunblock when we go to the beach with the kids...
It’s SPF 80...
That means you squeeze the tube, and a sweater comes out.