Best Jokes

An applicant was filling out a job application. He came to the question, "Have you ever been arrested?"

He wrote, "No."

The next question, intended for people who had answered in the affirmative to the previous question, was "Why?"

The applicant answered it anyway... "Never got caught."

Our normally sweet Great Dane has one quirk, she hates United Parcel Service drivers. While walking her one day, around the corner of a house came a UPS man.

Struggling to keep hold of her, I tried to ease the situation and said, "As you can see, she just loves UPS men."

"Don't you feed her anything else?" he responded.

I was the substitute teacher for a second-grade math class that was learning about groups. In one exercise, pupils were asked to label a group of items according to their common characteristics.

Pictured were onion rings, doughnuts, a bundt cake, and ring cookies. The correct answer would have been that all the items have holes in the center.

But one health-conscious boy's response was, "All of those things contain too much cholesterol."

Why did the shoe salesman dance all day?

He had a lot of sole.