Never approach a bull from the front, a horse from the rear, or a fool from any direction!
Owner of a aircraft manufacturing company stopped by the aircraft testing airfield to check on the newest test pilot.
He asked the supervisor how the new guy was doing. "Terrible! He has already crashed four planes this week!"
Owner replied, "How is this possible? Where did he work before coming here?"
Supervisor said, "He designed Windows software for Microsoft."
A very nervous man, accompanied by his nagging wife, was examined by a doctor.
After checking the chart, the doctor nodded and wrote the man a prescription for a powerful tranquilizer.
The man asked, "How often do I take these?"
"Let's start off with one every six hours. But they're not for you," replied the doctor. "They're for your wife."
A young woman, pursuing a graduate degree in art history, was going to Italy to study the country's greatest works of art. Since there was no one to look after her grandmother while she was away, she took the old lady with her.
At the Sistine Chapel in the Vatican, she pointed to the painting on the ceiling. "Grandma, it took Michelangelo a full four years to get that ceiling painted."
"Oh my, "the grandmother says. "He and I must have the same landlord."