Best Jokes

What's the difference between an amateur thief and a professional thief?

An amateur thief says, "Give me all your money!"

A professional thief says, "Sign here please!"

The other day I held the door open for a clown.

It was a nice jester.

Smoking will kill you.

Bacon will kill you.

But smoking bacon will cure it!

Do you know why King Arthur hired a jeweler for sentry duty?

Because he wanted a knight watchman!