Best Jokes

A man went to the doctor complaining of insomnia. The doctor gave him an exam and found nothing physically wrong with him. “Listen,” the doctor said, “if you ever expect to cure your insomnia, you need to stop taking your troubles to bed with you.”
“It’s true,” said the patient, “but my wife refuses to sleep alone.”

First friend: "I am getting so tired of having to wade through so much Spam e-mail. Every time I sign on to get my e-mail I have to discard 20 Spam messages."
Second friend: "I used to be in exactly the same situation: 20 Spam messages every time I signed on. But I solved that. Now I only get ONE every time I sign on."
First friend: "That's terrific. How did you do that?"
Second friend: "I sign on 20 times more."

Three drunkards were walking down the street when they came upon a pile of manure where they stopped. The first drunkard, upon observation of the manure said to the other two, "Looks like it...” the second, bending over it and sniffing, said to the other two, "smells like it..." the third, sticking his finger in it, said, "feels like it". "Good thing we didn't step in it", they all agreed as they turned and walked away.

The cheapest way to have your family tree traced is to run for a public office.