How does one leave a casino with a million dollars?
By entering the casino with a billion dollars!
"One of the worst jobs I ever had was when I used to be a narrator."
"Well, that doesn't sound so bad?"
"I was a narrator for bad mimes."
I think I’m a really great golfer...
I once shot a 72...
On the first nine holes!
When does Christmas come before Halloween and Thanksgiving?
In the dictionary!