Best Jokes

Did you hear about the inchworm that got upset?

He had to turn metric.

Sometimes when I'm depressed, I get a pregnancy test...

Just so I can say, 'Well, at least I'm not pregnant."

Three dogs met on a street corner. The first was a beautiful black poodle with a big blue ribbon around its neck, and it said, "My name is Fifi, spelled F-I-F-I."

The second was a pretty white poodle with a red satin ribbon around its neck, and it said, "My name is Mimi, spelled M-I-M-I."

The third was a dirty old mutt and said, "My name is Fido, spelled P-H-Y-D-E-A-U-X."

I had a wooden whistle; it wooden whistle.

I bought a lead whistle; they wooden lead me whistle.

I got a steel whistle; it steel wooden whistle.

They gave me a tin whistle; NOW I tin whistle!