Best Jokes

Two husbands were discussing their married lives. Although happily married, they admitted that there were arguments sometimes. One said, “I’ve made one great discovery. I know how to always have the last word.”

“Wow!’ said the other. “How did you manage that?”

“It’s easy, my last words are always ‘Yes, Dear.’”

The older sister asks her younger brother, "What are you giving Mom and Dad for Christmas?"

Without missing a beat, the little brother replies, "A list of everything I want."

I called a motel and asked how much they charged for a room. The clerk told me that the rates depended on room size and number of people.

"Do you take children?" I asked.

"No, sir... nor checks!" replied the clerk. "Cash and credit only."

If Microsoft operated Restaurants Patron: Waiter!
Waiter: Hi, my name is Bill, and I'll be your Support
Waiter. What seems to be the problem?
Patron: There's a fly in my soup!
Waiter: Try again, maybe the fly won't be there this time.
Waiter: Maybe the soup is incompatible with the bowl; what kind of bowl are you using?
Patron: A SOUP bowl!
Waiter: Can you remember everything you did before you noticed the fly in your soup?
Patron: I sat down and ordered the Soup of the Day!
Waiter: Have you considered upgrading to the latest Soup of the Day?