Best Jokes

A man was driving along the highway, and saw a rabbit hopping across the middle of the road. He swerved to avoid hitting the rabbit, but unfortunately the rabbit jumped in front of the car and was hit. The driver felt so awful, he began to cry. A woman driving down the highway saw the man crying on the side of the road and pulled over. She stepped out of her car and asked the man what was wrong. "I feel terrible," he explained. "I accidentally hit this rabbit and killed it."

The woman went to her car trunk and pulled out a spray can. She walked over to the limp, dead rabbit, and sprayed the contents of the can on to the rabbit. Miraculously, the rabbit came to life, jumped up, waved it's paw at the two humans and hopped down the road. Every 50 ft or so the bunny would stop, look back, and wave. The man was astonished. He couldn't figure out what substance could be in the woman's spray can. He ran over to the woman and demanded, "What was in your spray can? What did you spray on that rabbit?"

The woman turned the can around so that the man could read the label. It said: "'Hair spray restores life to dead hair. Adds permanent wave."

What did the giraffe say to the elephant as they boarded Noah’s ark?

“We’re all in the same boat!”

My friend had been pounding the pavement in search of a job with no luck. Frustrated, she asked her dad to look at her résumé. He didn’t get much further than the first line of her cover letter before spotting the problem.

“Is it too generic?” she asked.

“I doubt it,” said her father. “Especially since it’s addressed ‘Dear Sir or Madman.’”

Caller: Is this Mr. or Mrs. Wall?

Me: I'm sorry there are no Walls here.

Caller: Well, if there aren't any walls there, how does the roof stay up?