Best Jokes

Marriage is like a railroad sign…

First you stop, then you look, and then you listen.

The frugal man walked into the house panting and almost completely exhausted. “What happened, Honey?” asked his wife.

“It’s a great new idea I have,” he gasped. “I ran all the way home behind the bus and saved $1.50 cents.”

“That wasn’t too smart,” replied his wife. “Why didn’t you run behind a taxi and save ten dollars?”

Billy walks into class late. His teacher says, “Billy, do not walk into class late again."

The next day Billy crawls into class late once again. His teacher says, “Billy, I thought I told you not to come into class late?"

Billy responds, "No, you told me I couldn't walk into class late."

Guy: Excuse me, is your name Gillette?
Girl: No, Why?
Guy: Because you're the best a man can get!