Best Jokes

What's the first symptom a computer is getting old?

Memory problems.

A not-so-bright girl is flying in a plane when her pilot keels over. She calls out: "Mayday! Mayday! My pilot is dead!"

Air traffic control responds, "Don't worry, I'll talk you through this. What's your height and position?"

"I'm five-four and I'm in the plane," she says.

"Repeat after me," says the voice. "Our Father, who art in heaven...."

A woman was telling her boyfriend that she always dreamed that she would walk down the aisle with him.

So the very next day he took her to the supermarket.

People who think that time heals everything have obviously never tried waiting it out in a doctor's waiting room!