I just had a call from a Charity asking me to donate some of my clothes to the starving people throughout the world.
I told them to buzz off!!!!!
Anybody who fits into my clothes isn't starving!!
Two girlfriends were speeding down the highway at well over 90 mph.
"Hey," asked the brunette at the wheel "Any cops following us?"
The blonde turned around and had a long look at the road behind them.
"Yeah, looks like it"
Are his flashers on?"
The blonde turned around again......
"Yup.... nope.... yup.... nope.... yup.... nope.... yup....."
Man and wife driving through the countryside come across a herd of goats.
Wife to hubby whilst pointing at the goat's: Your relatives!
Hubby to wife: Yes they are....from my wife's side.
There was a man who entered a local paper's pun contest.
He sent in ten different puns, in the hope that at least one of the puns would win.
Unfortunately, no pun in ten did.