Best Jokes

If a mime dies, would there be words spoken at his or her funeral?

A sergeant gives a private a hard time. He says, "Private, I bet you are just waiting for me to die so you can come and urinate on my grave!"

The private replied, "No sir, when I get out of the army I am not going to stand in more long, long lines!"

Me: What happened to you? You don't look so good.

Friend: I got stung by a brose.

Me: There's no b in rose.

Friend: There was in this one!

What's the difference between a shower curtain and toilet paper?

If you don't know, I'm never having you over my house to use the bathroom!