Best Jokes

After 25 years of marrriage, I took a look at my wife one day and said, "Honey, 25 years ago, we had a cheap apartment, a cheap car, slept on a sofa bed and watched a 10-inch black and white TV, but I got to sleep every night with a hot 25-year-old sexy chick. Now, we have a nice house, nice car, big bed and plasma screen TV, but I'm sleeping with a 50 year old woman. It seems to me that you are not holding up your side of things."

My wife is a very reasonable woman. She told me to go out and find a hot 25 year old sexy chick and she would make sure that I would once again be living in a cheap apartment, driving a cheap car, and sleeping on a sofa bed.

Aren't older women great? They really know to how solve your mid-life crisis.

There is a rookie pilot and a co-pilot and they are coming in for a landing. The pilot says, "Damn that runway is small, give me 1/4 flaps."

As they get closer the pilot says, "Damn that's a small runway, give me 1/2 flaps."

As they're coming in closer the pilot again says, "Damn that's a small runway, give me FULL FLAPS!"

After they land the plane safely the pilot says, "That's the smallest runway I've ever landed on."

Then the co-pilot says, "Yes it is, but look it how wide it is."

If life is handing you melons... You might be dyslexic.

Wanna see an idiot in glass?

Take a look in the mirror.