Best Jokes

He decided to try to break the news to a friend of his, a pessimist by nature, and invited him to hunt with him and his new dog.

As they waited by the shore, a flock of ducks flew by. They fired and a duck fell. The dog responded and jumped into the water. The dog, however, did not sink but instead walked across the water to retrieve the bird, never getting more than his paws wet.

The friend saw everything but did not say a single word.

On the drive home the hunter asked his friend, "Did you notice anything unusual about my new dog?"

"I sure did," responded his friend. "He can't swim."

Why do husbands die before their wives?

Answer: They want to.

Doctor: What did you dream about last night?

Patient: Baseball.

Doctor: Don’t you dream about anything else?

Patient: What, and miss my turn at bat?

Little Johnny was riding the elevator of a tall office with his mother and father. He tugged at his father’s coat and when his father bent over, Little Johnny whispered in ear.

The father frowned and shook his head. Little Johnny tugged at his father’s coat and whispered the same thing again.

“No,” said his father.

When Little Johnny tugged his father’s coat for the third time, his father lost his patience and said sharply: “I don’t care how Superman does it! We’re going up this way!”