Doctor: What did you dream about last night?
Doctor: Don’t you dream about anything else?
Patient: What, and miss my turn at bat?
Little Johnny was riding the elevator of a tall office with his mother and father. He tugged at his father’s coat and when his father bent over, Little Johnny whispered in ear.
The father frowned and shook his head. Little Johnny tugged at his father’s coat and whispered the same thing again.
“No,” said his father.
When Little Johnny tugged his father’s coat for the third time, his father lost his patience and said sharply: “I don’t care how Superman does it! We’re going up this way!”
Teacher: Little Johnny, how do you spell “rain”?
Little Johnny: R-A-N-E.
Teacher: That’s the worst spell of rain we’ve had around here in a long time.
Why are harps like elderly parents?
They’re both unforgiving and difficult to get in and out of cars.