When I was in high school, I got in trouble with my girlfriend's Dad.
He said, "I want my daughter back by 8:15."
I said, "The middle of August? Cool!"
You know you're old when you wake up in the morning and the first thing you see is your teeth smiling at you while in a glass on you're bedside night table.
Charlie Brown, Lucy, and Linus started their own business...
However, no one wants to come work for them because no one wants to work for Peanuts.
I can spot an innie and an outie belly button on the beach from a mile away. ..
That's because I graduated with honors from the U.S Navel Academy.