Best Jokes

A mother and son were washing dishes while the father and daughter were watching TV in the family room.

Suddenly, there was a crash of breaking dishes, then complete silence.

The girl looked at her dad and said, "It was Mom."

"How do you know?"

"She didn't say anything."

A robber was found wounded in an electronics store...

He tried breaking in from the roof but unfortunately for him, he fell on a 'Sharp' TV.

I ate a salad for lunch today! Well, mostly croutons and tomatoes...

Actually one big round crouton and tomato sauce. And cheese...

FINE! It was a pizza. I ate a pizza for lunch!

A pipe burst in a lawyer's house, so he called a plumber.

The plumber arrived, unpacked his tools, did mysterious plumber-type things for a while, and handed the lawyer a bill for $600.

The lawyer exclaimed, "This is ridiculous! I don't even make that much as a lawyer!"

The plumber replied sympathetically, "Neither did I when I was a lawyer."