Best Jokes

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At the Henry Street Hebrew School, Goldplate, the new teacher, finished the day's lesson. It was now time for the usual question period.

"Mr. Goldplate," announced little Joey, "there's something' I can't figure out."

"What is that Joey?" asked Goldplate.

"Well according to the Bible, the Children of Israel crossed the Red Sea, right?"


"And the Children of Israel beat up the Philistines, right?"


"And the Children of Israel built the Temple, right?"

"Again you are right."

"And the Children of Israel fought the Egyptians, and the Children of Israel fought the Romans, and the Children of Israel were always doing something' important, right?"

"All that is right, too," agreed Goldplate. "So what is your question?"

"What I want to know is this," demanded Joey. "What were all the grownups doing?”

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posted by "Harry Finkelstein" |
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My girlfriend left a note on the fridge saying, "It's not working. I can't take it anymore. I am going to my mothers."

I opened the fridge. The light came on, the beer was cold.

I can't figure out what she's talking about?

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CATEGORY Marriage Jokes
posted by "Harry Finkelstein" |
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A woman goes to the doctor for her yearly physical. The nurse starts with certain basic items. "How much do you weigh?" she asks.

"120," the woman says. The nurse puts her on the scale. It turns out her weight is 150.

The nurse asks, "Your height?"

"5 feet, 8 inches," she says. The nurse checks and sees that she measures only 5 feet, 5 inches.

She then takes her blood pressure and tells the woman it is very high.

"Of course it's high!" she screams. "When I came in here, I was tall and slender, and now I'm short and fat!"

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CATEGORY Doctor Jokes
posted by "Harry Finkelstein" |
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The lion married off a child. Being the king of the jungle, he invited all the animals for the wedding.

On the very special night, a mouse walks up the lion and says, "Congratulations brother!"

The lion looks at the mouse and says, "Thanks, but since when am I your brother?"

The mouse replied, "Well, I was once a lion too, then I got married."

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CATEGORY Animal Jokes
posted by "Badchen" |