Best Jokes

Teacher: "Martha, come to the blackboard and tell us on the world map where America is."

Martha points to America correctly.

Teacher: "Good. Now John, you tell us who discovered America."

John: "Martha just did!"

My friend was adamant that onions are the only food that can make people cry. So to prove him wrong I smashed a coconut in his face!

Emailing professors be like:

*polite greeting
*multiple paragraphs
*perfect grammar

Professor's reply:

''Sure."
-Sent from my iPhone

Yo Momma is so stupid when an intruder broke into her house, she ran downstairs, dialed 9-1-1 on the microwave, and couldn't find the "CALL" button.