Best Jokes

"Well, what seems to be the problem?" asked the clock repair man.

"It's my grandfather clock. It used to go tic toc, tic toc, tic toc. Now, it just goes tic, tic, tic, tic, tic," replied the young lady.

"Hmmm, I think I can fix this," he says. He opens the door on the clock, looks at it, and then says to the lady, "Don't worry, we have ways of making it toc!"

Your HR department just sent an email for your open-enrollment period for health-care. There is a new option that's more expensive, but has been getting great response:

For longer term illnesses and PTSD, your plan will pay all expenses to fly to, and stay in, the Caribbean Islands, with a high deductible your kids will be paying for in 40 years.

It's called, "BAHAMA-CARE!"

Few women admit their age. Few men act theirs.

Where would Voldemort go if he played the saxophone?

Jazzkaban.