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Favorite this joke Wife: Honey, I saved $1 off on a loaf of bread!
Husband: That’s fantastic! How did you do that?
Wife: Well, I bought a 10lbs bag of birdseed.
Husband: But we don’t have any birds.
Wife: Yes I know but the birdseed came with 50 cents off dog food coupon that I used to buy dog food.
Husband (frustratedly): WE DON’T HAVE ANY DOGS EITHER!!!
Wife: I KNOW! But the dog food came with $1 off bread coupon!
At the County Fair the couple’s 50 Yard Dash event entailed the ladies jumping on the backs of their partners and riding to the finish line.
Of the fifty couples beginning the race only three couples left the starting line. Oddly enough, in all three men who did leave the starting line were all named Mark; not a Willie or a Sam in the bunch.
The judges said, “Well that’s it, next year we’re not going to say on your mark, get set, go.”
I went to a Star Wars smoke shop...
You can smoke alright, but you're not allowed to chew-bacca!
Jack had a oral hygiene problem for years but all of his friends were afraid to tell him because it would probably hurt his feelings they thought.
One day in our science class, we were paired together. Our station was missing it's microscope so Jack asked me to get one from elsewhere that was not being used. I came back to the our work station and handed him a .5 ounce bottle of mouthwash.
"What is this?" Jack asked. "I asked for a Microscope."
I replied, "I didn't give you what you wanted, but I gave you what everybody knows you need. A small bottle of Scope mouthwash. So I gave you a micro 'Scope'."
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