Best Jokes

What do you call a receipt for the transfer of a wind-powered boat?

Either a bill-of-sail or a sails-receipt.

I felt a little lightheaded so I booked an online virtual doctor’s appointment with my physician at One Medical.

“What seems to be your problem?” asked the doc.

“I’m lightheaded and I think I might be anemic,” I stated.

“Well, let’s get some blood work ordered and we’ll know for sure,” replied the doctor. “Anything else I can help you with?”

"Yes, I’m wondering if I can still add a few items to my Amazon Fresh order?”

Wife: Honey, I saved $1 off on a loaf of bread!

Husband: That’s fantastic! How did you do that?

Wife: Well, I bought a 10lbs bag of birdseed.

Husband: But we don’t have any birds.

Wife: Yes I know but the birdseed came with 50 cents off dog food coupon that I used to buy dog food.

Husband (frustratedly): WE DON’T HAVE ANY DOGS EITHER!!!

Wife: I KNOW! But the dog food came with $1 off bread coupon!