Best Jokes

The drunk staggered up to the hotel reception and demanded his room be changed.

"But sir," said the clerk, "you have the best room in the hotel."

"I insist on another room!!" said the drunk.

"Very good, sir. I'll change you from 502 to 555. Would you mind telling me why you don't like 502?" asked the clerk.

"Well, for one thing," said the drunk, "it's on fire."

Want to feel old?

A celebrity you’ve never heard of has never heard of a celebrity that you have heard of.

What's the difference between a teacher and a train?

A teacher says, "Spit out your gum!" while a train goes, "Choo, choo, choo!"

I asked the three-year-old what he likes to eat.

“Nuts,” he replied.

“Great,” I said. “What kind, pecans? Walnuts? Peanuts?"

“No,” she said with a smile, “donuts!”