Best Jokes

While away from home in college I wrote a letter to my dad.

It said: "No mun, no fun, your loving son."

He wrote back saying: "Too bad, so sad, your loving dad."

Right now I'm off to grow some facial hair...

Must dash!

At Sunday dinner I told my wife and my son a joke. They didn't laugh. They said I was not funny. So, the next week I took two pieces of paper and wrote "Humor" on the paper. I then found a scented candle my wife likes and taped one piece of paper to it.

I also took the glass jar where she puts her pennies, dimes, nickels and quarters and taped the other piece of paper. I put them both on the table. When my wife saw them, pointing to the candle she asked, "What's this?"

I said, "This is your Scent of Humor."

She then pointed to the glass jar with all the coins in it, "And what's this?"

My reply: "This is your Cents of Humor."

Car owner: "Were you able to get my car started?"

Mechanic: "I'm afraid not, sir, the battery's flat."

Car owner: "What shape is it supposed to be?"