Best Jokes

December is the month when the kids begin to discuss what to get Dad for Christmas.

Some insist on a shirt.

Others insist on a pair of socks.

The argument always ends in a tie.

People go on vacation to forget things...

Then they open their travel bags and find that they did.

Teacher: If I tear a piece of paper into four, what do I get?

Student: Quarters

Teacher: And if I divide it into eight?

Student: Eighths

Teacher: And if I divide it into eight thousand parts?

Student: Confetti.

Bob had this problem of getting up late in the morning and was always late for work. After a few weeks of this, his boss was mad and threatened to fire him if he didn't do something about it.

So Bob went to his doctor, who gave him a pill and told him to take it before he went to bed. He got a great night's sleep and actually beat the alarm in the morning. After a leisurely breakfast, he cheerfully drove to work.

"Boss," he said, "the pill my doctor subscribed me actually worked!"

"That's all fine," said the boss, "But where were you yesterday?"