A new years resolution is something that goes in one year and out the other.
Why are Comet, Cupid, Donner, and Blitzen always wet?
Because they are rain deer.
What do you call it when part of a windmill is owned by a circus clown?
A juggler vane!
A guy goes to the doctor.
Guy: "Doc, I think I broke my arm in three places."
Doctor: "Well, don't go to those places!"