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Favorite this joke Those who aspire toward universal good may dream a hero’s death...
However, statistically speaking there’s a better chance they’ll choke and be taken out by a chicken nugget.
In a local restaurant a waitress offered the patron a cup of coffee. He refused, pointed a finger at her and said, "Young lady, don't you know that every single person who drinks coffee dies?"
Flustered, she said, "Really?"
Another customer said, "Hey, Mister. Don't scare the young lady like that. Everyone who does NOT drink coffee dies, too."
"I know," said the first patron. I am studying to be a politician. Half truths, even if what I said is the whole truth, is good enough."
I accidentally rubbed ketchup in my eye.
In Heinzsight, I shouldn't have done that.
Elle: "Grandpa, why are these eggs so large?"
Grandpa: "They're duck eggs."
Elle: "Where did you get them?"
Grandpa: "On the internet. It's easy if you use Quack Quack Go, just type in eggs and hit enter."
Elle: "I think you meant duck duck go."
Grandpa: "I don't think so. You have to use the right search engine and I wasn't looking for ducks."
Elle: "What if I wanted to donate to animals in wildfire distress?"
Grandpa: "Firefox and if you' want to find a date go to...."
Elle: "Don't tell me, Yahoo right?"
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