Best Jokes

Jack had a oral hygiene problem for years but all of his friends were afraid to tell him because it would probably hurt his feelings they thought.

One day in our science class, we were paired together. Our station was missing it's microscope so Jack asked me to get one from elsewhere that was not being used. I came back to the our work station and handed him a .5 ounce bottle of mouthwash.

"What is this?" Jack asked. "I asked for a Microscope."

I replied, "I didn't give you what you wanted, but I gave you what everybody knows you need. A small bottle of Scope mouthwash. So I gave you a micro 'Scope'."

A barhopping fellow, four sheets to the wind, stumbles into a bar and declares "I'm buying everyone in the bar a drink! Line 'em up, bartender!"

So the bartender pours everyone a drink, and frivolity commences until the bartender says to that first guy, "OK, that'll be $210."

The drunk guy says, "I don't have that kind of money!"

The bartender throws him out. A few minutes later, the drunk staggers back into the bar. This time he says, "I'm buying everyone in this bar a drink! Except for you bartender, when you drink, you get nasty."