Two farmers were bragging about how effective each other's scarecrows were.
"My scarecrow is so scary," the first farmer said. "That it frightened every single crow off of my farm."
"I can top you on that," replied the second farmer. "My scarecrow scared the crows so much that they brought back all of the corn they stole last year."
So, it's me and an x-ray tech who's around 30 years younger than me.
Me: I'm going to see The Eagles tonight.
Tech: Who?
Me: The Eagles. The 70s rock band.
Tech: That's cool. Which casino they playing at?
While fixing his roof, a man fell off of the ladder. After meeting with his wife later, he told her that four ribs were broken.
"Four ribs broken?!" she gasps. "Which hospital did you go to?"
"I didn't have to go to the hospital." he replies. His wife stares in perplexity. "Four broken ribs and you didn't have to go to the hospital?"
"No, it was the fella I landed on who broke four ribs."
Did you hear about the turkey that wore a sweater made out of stuffing?
If felt so nice & warm, that she even wore it inside.