You know your doctor is too old when you look at the framed diploma on his wall and realize his Hippocratic oath was signed by Hippocrates!
A tired hunter out in the wilds stumbled into a camp. “Am I glad to see you!” he said. “I’ve been lost for three days.”
“Don’t get too excited, friend,” the other hunter replied. “I’ve been lost for three weeks.”
The married couple were in the middle of an argument.
Husband: "Do u know the meaning of the word WIFE? It means 'Without Information Fighting Everytime!'"
Wife: "You're wrong, it means 'With Idiot For Ever!'"
My wife has been missing a week now.
The police said to prepare for the worst.
So, I had to go down to Goodwill to get all of her clothes back.