Best Jokes

1 votes

Me: My tire's making a whistling sound.

Mechanic: Sounds like a flat.

Me: More like an F sharp.

1 votes

CATEGORY Musician Jokes
posted by "wadejagz" |
1 votes

A knitting/crocheting group at a local senior center donated handmade hats and scarves to my office to give to folks in need over the holidays.

What made my day was their group name: The Senior Hookers!

1 votes

CATEGORY Elderly Jokes
posted by "merk" |
1 votes

For months, Leah had been nagging her husband to go with her to the seance parlor of Madame Sadie.

"Cyril, Madame Sadie is a real gypsy and she brings the voices of the dead from the other world. We all talk to them. Last week, I talked with my mother, may she rest in peace. Cyril, for only $30 you can talk to your Zaida who you miss so much."

Cyril could not resist and at the next seance, there was Cyril sitting under the colored light at the green table, holding hands with the person on each side of him. All were humming.

Madame Sadie, her eyes lost in trance, was making passes over a crystal ball. "My medium Vashtri, who is that with you? Mr. Himmelfarb? Cyril's Zaida?"

Cyril swallowed the lump in his throat and called, "Grandpa? Zaida?"

"Ah, Cyril?" a thin voice quavered.

"Yes, yes," cried Cyril, "this is your Cyril, Zaida, are you happy in the other world?"

"Cyril, I am in bliss. I'm with your bubba. We laugh, we sing, we gaze upon the shining face of the Lord."

Cyril asks his Zaida many questions and his zaida answers each, until...

"So now, Cyril, I have to go. The angels are calling. Just one more question I can answer. Ask. Ask."

"Zaida," sighed Cyril, "when did you learn to speak English?"

1 votes

CATEGORY Family Jokes
posted by "Dan the Man 009" |
1 votes

Two idiots were standing looking at the sun. They were arguing. One said it was the sun while the other one said it was the moon.

A third guy happened to walk by. They asked him, "What is that in the sky?"

The man simply replied, "Sorry, I can't help you. I'm not from this area."

1 votes

CATEGORY Doctor Jokes
posted by "moeketsi" |