Best Jokes

Fresh out of seminary, a young pastor found an associate position at a prestigious church. One Sunday early on, he was given the opportunity to preach. He prepared diligently - perhaps a bit too excited to use all the learning he'd acquired - and worked hard to make his words eloquent and smooth.

Shaking hands at the end of the service, he was approached by one of the older ladies who was known and respected in both the church and community.

"Sir," she said with a smile, "your sermon was like the peace of God!"

The young preacher's grin widened and his chest puffed a bit, until she continued on... "It surpassed ALL understanding!"

Saw a bumper sticker that said do the thing you love until it kills you...

So I ate 479 tacos.

I hate it when I can't figure out how to operate the iPad and my tech guy is asleep.

He's 5 and it's past his bedtime.

People who say I'm pretentious need to walk a mile in my Louis Vuitton's.