Best Jokes
Favorite this joke A man dies and goes to heaven. As he walks towards the heaven, he passes by the hell. His curiosity gets better of him and he peeks inside and sees people laughing, singing, a band playing heartily and people are all dancing. He thinks to himself, "If hell is this lively, I cannot wait to see what heaven looks like."
He proceeds and walks into heaven. Heaven is all quiet, serene, birds chirping, flowers blooming, sun is shining. He looks around and sees a man sitting leisurely under a tree. He walks up to him and says, "I just peeped into hell and there everyone was laughing, singing, dancing and they even had a band playing great music. In contrast, it's so quiet in here. The man sitting says, "What did you think? Should we have hired a band here too just for one person?"
I just saved a bunch of money on my car insurance by switching...
Switching my car into reverse and speeding away!
In the aftermath of a recent hurricane a neighbor reported a man trying to break open an ATM in his back yard resulting in his arrest.
Judge: What do you have to say for yourself sir?
Defendant: The hurricane dropped the ATM in my back yard. The only reason I was trying to open it was to locate a serial number so I could find the owner?
Judge: What about the other five ATM’s the police found in your garage?
Defendant: Well, your honor, it’s been a bad hurricane season this year.
Me: My tire's making a whistling sound.
Mechanic: Sounds like a flat.
Me: More like an F sharp.
Free Daily Joke