Best Jokes

A bodybuilder picks up a woman at a bar and takes her home with him. He takes off his shirt and the woman says "What a great chest you have." The bodybuilder tells her "That's 1000 lbs. of dynamite."

He takes off his pants and the woman says "What massive calves you have", the bodybuilder tells her "That's 1000 lbs. of dynamite".

He then takes off his underwear and the woman goes running and screaming out of the apartment. The bodybuilder puts his clothes back on and chases after her. He finally catches up to her and asks her why she ran out of the apartment.

The woman replies, "I was afraid to be around all that dynamite after I saw what a short fuse you have."

Two Martians landed on a corner traffic light.

“I saw her first,” one said.

“So what?” the other Martian replied. “I’m the one she winked at.”

Teacher: “I hope I didn’t see you looking at Timmy’s test paper?”

Little Johnny: ”I hope you didn't see me either!”

The conductor turned to the viola student and said, “You should have taken up the viola earlier."

“Why?” asked the student. “Do you think the practice would have made me really good?”

“No,” said the conductor. “But you might have given up by now.”