A sign posted on the door of a local dental office read:
"We do Fillings, Cleanings and Extractions ONLY! That's the TOOTH, the whole TOOTH, and nothing but the TOOTH... so help me God."
What blood type does an optimist have?
B positive.
A drunk stumbled out the door of the bar. He stood on the corner waiting for the light. He wife calls and asks if he is drunk. The man replies, "Of course not!"
Being suspicious that he is drunk, she says, "Okay then, tell me where you are and I will come and get you."
The drunk replies, "I am at the corner of WALK and DON'T WALK!"
Our generation never got a break. When we were young they taught us to respect our elders...
Now that we are older, they tell us to listen to the youth of the country.