Best Jokes

The professor of a university was extremely busy explaining something important with regard to his subject to the students when a girl belonging to the same class arrived late at the door and said, "May I get in, sir?"

"Don't you think you're terribly late today?" said the angry professor to the girl.

The girl then said, "When I was coming to college, a boy was following me, sir."

"I hope he hasn't stalked you. Yet, why did you get late?" demanded the professor.

Without a moment hesitation the girl replied, "But, he was walking slowly, sir."

A man walks into a bar and sees a Polish guy, a female blonde, and a priest

The guy says to the bartender, "What is this? Some kind of joke?

Bert: Hey Ernie, would you like some ice cream?

Ernie: Sherbert

A husband had been away for a few months and had a romantic evening planned for he and his wife. He sent the two older kids to the movies but could not persuade the youngest boy to go along.

Finally he makes a deal with the boy. If the boy will go sit on the curb in front of their house, the father will give the boy 5 bucks for every man he sees go by in a red hat.

A while later the little boy comes running into the house and bangs on the bedroom door and shouts: "Dad, if you think you're getting screwed in there, you'd better come outside, 'cause there's a Shriner's convention going past."