Best Jokes

A doctor was trying to check an epidemic in a village. Visiting a family, he asked, "Are you taking precautions to prevent spread of contagion?"

"Yes, sir, doctor," replied the head of the family. "We've even bought a sanitary cup and we all drink from it."

Upset Pilot (after crash): "I was trying to break a record..."

Farmer: "Well, you've made it. You're the first man in these parts who climbed down a tree without having to climb up it first."

My wife hasn't had a headache since her strict adherence to modern health standards...

I'm onboard with being part of the solution, but I sure wish they'd loosen up on that social distancing thing.

Researchers say that cats actually understand when you say their name, they're just choosing to ignore you.

Further research shows that dogs want their owners to know, "I tried to tell you!"