Best Jokes

Why is it easy to beat zombies at poker?

They usually draw dead!

Teacher: "Little Johnny can you tell the class what the word Pejorative means?"

Little Johnny: "Pejorative, an adjective, having a disparaging, derogatory, or belittling effect or force."

Teacher: "I'm impressed, you must have been studying."

Little Johnny: " Not really, I was channel surfing and happened to be on C-Span when the remotes battery died."

A doctor was trying to check an epidemic in a village. Visiting a family, he asked, "Are you taking precautions to prevent spread of contagion?"

"Yes, sir, doctor," replied the head of the family. "We've even bought a sanitary cup and we all drink from it."

Upset Pilot (after crash): "I was trying to break a record..."

Farmer: "Well, you've made it. You're the first man in these parts who climbed down a tree without having to climb up it first."