Best Jokes

A person went into the office kitchen one morning and found a new blonde girl painting the walls. She was wearing a new fur coat and a nice denim jacket.

Thinking this was a little strange, he asked her why she was wearing them rather than old clothes or an overall.

She showed him the instructions on the tin: “For best results, put on two coats”.

What is brown and sticky?

A stick.

A family of skunks went for their morning walk. They came to a fork in the road.

The daddy skunk said, "My instinct tells me to take the left fork."

The momma skunk said, "My instinct tells me to take the right fork."

The baby skunk pondered a moment and said, "My end stinks too but I still don't know which road to take!"

You know its going to be a bad day if:

You put your bra on backwards, and it fits better.

Your car horn goes off accidentally, and remains stuck while you’re following a group of Hell’s angels.

You see a ’60 minutes’ team waiting in your office

The boss tells you not to bother taking off your coat.

The bird singing outside your window is a vulture.

Your blind date turns out to be your wife.

Your twin forgot your birthday.

Your Income Tax check bounces.