A fellow had a buzzard for a pet and decided to take him to Hawaii on vacation. He realized it was a long flight and that he couldn't afford the exorbitant fees charged by air lines for extra luggage.
He wasn't prepared for Delta to deny boarding to his pet buzzard, Buford, though. Seems Buford had too much carrion baggage.
The day after the Annual Academy Awards program had aired, my wife and I were riding on the the freeway, when she saw a digital highway information sign which read, "There's no Oscar given for being a lead-foot!"
I quickly responded, "No, but you might get 'slapped' with a ticket!"