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I couldn’t decide whether to go to Salt Lake City or Denver for vacation, so I called the airlines to get prices. “Airfare to Denver is $300,” the cheery salesperson replied.

“And what about Salt Lake City?”

“We have a really great rate to Salt Lake—$99,” she said “but there is a stopover.”

“Where?”

“In Denver,” she said.

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CATEGORY Airplane Jokes
posted by "ERS" |
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When the waitress in a New York City restaurant brought him the soup of the day, the Englishman was a bit dismayed. "Good heavens," he said, "what is this?"

"It's bean soup," she replied.

"I don't care what it's been," he replied. "I want to know what it is now?"

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CATEGORY Misc Jokes
posted by "Anonymous" |
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Lost my job at the keyboard factory yesterday...

I wasn't putting in enough shifts apparently.

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posted by "Leibel" |
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He decided to try to break the news to a friend of his, a pessimist by nature, and invited him to hunt with him and his new dog.

As they waited by the shore, a flock of ducks flew by. They fired and a duck fell. The dog responded and jumped into the water. The dog, however, did not sink but instead walked across the water to retrieve the bird, never getting more than his paws wet.

The friend saw everything but did not say a single word.

On the drive home the hunter asked his friend, "Did you notice anything unusual about my new dog?"

"I sure did," responded his friend. "He can't swim."

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CATEGORY Animal Jokes
posted by "Jareth the Goblin King" |