Best Jokes

Counselor: “Mr. Johnson I’d like to request you no longer bring your pet fly to our sessions.”

Mr. Johnson: “But he’s my friend and we go everywhere together”.

Counselor: “Every time I make a suggestion you turn to your fly and then you tell me your fly doesn’t like that suggestion. You need to have an open mind Mr. Johnson, your fly is standoffish and closed to anything new. I don’t know how you can walk around in public with a friend that‘s so closed.”

Mr. Johnson: “My little friend really doesn’t like that suggestion. There’s no way I’m going to walk around in public with an open fly.”

I recently went to my 30th class reunion from nursery school.

I didn't want to go because I've put on maybe 90 or 100 pounds since then.

The kids were coming into class and sitting down, they were discussing MONEY, talking about where currency was made. Billy said, "At the mint."

Frank piped up, and said, "No, that is where coins are made."

Janie had the best answer, though. She said, "Money is made at the ATM. hat's what the letters stand for... All The Money!"

What is a golfer's favorite bird?

They aren't picky, any birdie will do.