Best Jokes

John: How do you get out of doing all the chores your wife wants done?

Fred: It's simple. My motto is, 'Why put off until tomorrow what you don't have to do at all.'

Shortly after their honeymoon a wife came up with a list of the changes she wanted her new husband to make. Trying to please her, he agreed to change.

A year later, after numerous changes, his wife started complaining he wasn't the man she married.

Go figure.

One day, out of the blue, one of my twin boys asked, "Dad, how did you support yourself through college?"

I said, "I was a working student. Initially, a janitor until I got promoted."

"Dad moved up to the second floor," quipped the other.

I finally got my head together!

But now my body is falling apart.