Best Jokes

Danny came home with a very large bounty of Halloween treats. Danny’s eyes were gleaming; he had a smile from ear to ear while performing an impromptu victory dance for his parents.

His father said, "Danny you know there comes a time when we should stop going trick or treating."

Just them Danny’s mother interrupted her husband. "Dear, give the boy a break; after all he has two full years before he turns forty."

What sign has probably never been made in Braille?

“Danger, do not touch.”

Teacher: Can anyone describe what a (shocking moment) is?

Little Johnny: It’s when you find out something that changes your world view.

Teacher: Yes, Johnny, that would definitely be an application of the term shocking moment. Can you give us an example of this in your personal life?

Little Johnny: When I was five my uncle Johnny came to visit from out of state and he’d cuss a lot. My mother said he’s just being a dummy and only does it because of my dad.

Teacher: OK, your uncle was trying to impress your dad inappropriately. I don’t understand what you found shocking about that?

Little Johnny: I was little and misunderstood my mom when she said my uncle was a dummy and my dad made him talk that way. It was really shocking when I found out my uncle could actually talk on his own and my dad wasn’t a ventriloquist.

Teacher: Since it's storm season, can anyone tell the class what a category five storm is?

Little Johnny: It’s when everyone hides in their room, including dad. It usually happens when Aunt Suzy comes to visit us and she starts talking to my mom about politics.