I always feel nervous when I walk through a cornfield...
I keep thinking I'm being stalked.
My father said I missed parts of the lawn when I cut it.
He told me people are respected when they do stand-up work.
My father has always been a wise man so I followed his wishes and became a comedian.
The reason they named a bar a bar and not a fly is because wedding invitations work much better when it’s announced they’re having an open bar.
I lost my job at the circus as a human cannonball.
They found somebody they considered a higher caliber individual.