Best Jokes

I was observing two men that were working for the public works department. One would dig a hole and the other would follow behind him and fill the hole in.

After a while I had to ask, "Why do you dig a hole, only to have your partner follow behind and fill it up again?"

The hole digger wiped his brow and sighed, "Well, I suppose it probably looks odd because we're normally a three-person team. But today the lad who plants the trees called in sick."

A Russian arrives at a friends house with a bottle of vodka. The friend silently leads him into the dining room where they both sit at the table with the bottle. Not a word is spoken.

The friend goes off and returns with two vodka glasses. The Russian fills the two glasses with the vodka, and they begin to drink. Not a word is spoken.

After much silence and a half-empty bottle, the Russian ventures a comment, “Good vodka, agree?”

At this, the friend slams down his glass and replies, “Did you come here to talk or to drink?”

MARRIAGE is a fancy word for adoption of an overgrown MAN-CHILD that can't take care of himself.

What happened to the dog that swallowed a firefly?

It barked with de-light!